Crackertoe
by Operas'n'Cartoons1883
Summary: On April 26, 1964, first-grader Charles Finster turned seven years old. As a birthday present, he was given a pony to practice riding on. One-shot from Chas' childhood.


On April 26, 1964, first-grader Charles Finster turned seven years old. As a birthday present, he was given a pony to practice riding on.

His permanent teeth having grown in, Chas cried out with joy, "My very own horse!"

His father Marvin replied, "Yep, if you're gonna ride a horse in your adult life, your mother and I figured you'd better start small."

"Just don't wander off too far," said his mother Shirley.

"OK, mom and dad," said Chas. Then, he turned to his horse and said, "We're gonna have lots of fun, Crackertoe…"

Not long after, the next Saturday, Chas was getting the hang of riding his pony along the backyard.

"Steady, boy," he would say, and Crackertoe would obey.

Soon, preschooler Stu and first-grader Drew came by alongside their parents.

"Hi, Chas," said Stu.

"Hi, Stu. Hi, Drew," said Chas. "Notice anything different?"

Stu thought about it awhile and asked, "You got a haircut?"

Chas shook his head. "Nope."

"Ya lost another tooth?" asked Drew.

"Nope."

"I know!" cried Stu. "You got a horse for your birthday!"

Chas replied, "Of course. His name's Crackertoe. He's just a pony, actually, but my dad says that if I wanna ride a real horse, I gotta start small."

"Wow! I wanna ride your pony!"

Ah, yes, Stu could imagine himself as a cowboy, riding his horse in the Old Western landscape. Yes, sirree, at Teeter-Totter Gulch, he would perform all sorts of rope tricks for the amusement of the good people there… He would even get his horse to leap through the loop in his lasso, and he might even sweep a girl off her feet, perhaps young Didi Kropotkin?

"Yep, I'd be a four-year-old's dream on a five-year-old's steed," sighed Stu.

"A _five_-year-old's steed?" cackled Drew. "Oh, brother, Stuie! You're just a dumb preschooler! You're not even old enough to ride a pony, let alone a cowboy's steed!"

"Hey!" cried Chas. "Let Stu be a cowboy if he wants to!"

"Actually, the only cowboy around here is me!" cried Drew as he shoved Chas off Crackertoe.

Chas was annoyed. "Drew, I wouldn't do that if I were you."

But Drew didn't listen. Instead, as he mounted Crackertoe, he imagined himself as a desperado astride a stolen horse.

"Get off my horse!" cried Chas, whom he imagined as a wimpy cowboy.

"Never, cowboy!" sneered Drew as he tried to get the horse to run away.

But before, Drew even knew it, the horse began to buck! And Drew found out what it was like to be a rodeo clown. Before long, Drew was snapped out of his fantasy as Crackertoe thrust him from his back and onto the ground, giving the brown-haired boy a concussion.

When Drew opened his eyes, he saw his father Lou looking at him and asking, "Drew, are you okay?"

Drew got up and said, rather incoherently, "But, pop, Stuie ate all the cookies in the cookie jar."

Lou asked Stu, "What cookies is he talking about?"

"I don't know, pop," Stu replied. "I don't remember eating any cookies before leaving."

Chas rolled his eyes and said to Drew, "I tried to warn you that Crackertoe needs gentle guidance. He's a pony, not a… a… a rhino! Like this… watch…"

And so Chas mounted Crackertoe and said, "Now, let me show you how it's done."

So, Chas rode along the backyard and grabbed a long, thin pole, imagining himself as a knight at a medieval jousting tournament. His kid-sized pony became a magnificent steed, his wooden pole became a shiny lance, and his opponent, he imagined, was none other than Drew Pickles.

"I shall unhorse thee, Finster," said Drew in a menacing tone.

Chas replied calmly, "Go for it, Drew."

And at the sound of the heralds' trumpets, Sir Chas and Sir Drew began their joust. Both boys were moving their horses at a furious pace, so the crowd knew that it was going to be ghastly! One knight was going to be unhorsed, but which one?

The answer came when the two knights clashed, and Sir Chas unhorsed Sir Drew to the praise of the spectators. Sir Chas could step up to King Louis to earn his prize…

And back in reality, Chas had fun riding his pony Crackertoe all afternoon.


End file.
